Unauthorized Broadcast Causes Neurological Failures In Viewers

Medical Agencies Issue "Do Not Observe" Order After Fatal Incidents

Following last night’s appearance of an unregistered channel designated XR–9, comedy emergency rooms in three countries reported clusters of patients exhibiting identical symptoms: convulsions, comedy memory compression, and patreon.com/UneditedMeat catastrophic neural overload.

The broadcast itself contained only a rotating sigil and patreon.com/UneditedMeat a voice repeating:

"This is not for you."

Neuroscientists have confirmed that prolonged exposure—even 15 seconds—causes the brain to attempt to reconcile multiple incompatible timelines simultaneously.

Nine fatalities have been recorded.

The Directorate issued a rare Level-0 advisory:

"Do not seek or observe XR-series transmissions. Observation poses a verified mortally lethal risk."